Jay's pseudoinsightfulpsychobabble

Blue Moon

2006-04-12T00:47:00.000-04:00

once in a...I actually update this blog.

Today is that day. yay (thank you insomnia)

So what has happened since mid-September?

Let's see. I passed the NJ bar on my first try. Not bad.

I got a job working at a small, boutique firm in Princeton,NJ. We specialize in mediation (YAY!) and elder care law, especially guardianship. However, unlike most attorneys out there specializing in elder care law, we take a very non-paternalistic stance regarding guardianship. It is rewarding, but, how to put this...not...lucrative?

Guardianship basically refers to the process by which one adults becomes legal guardian over another, such as a middle-aged son or daughter over their elderly father or mother. Once this is accomplished by court proceeding, the son/daughter is the complete legal guardian over the mother/father in the same way that a parent is the legal guardian for a child under the age of 18. They have basically full and total discretion as to that person's affairs.

Unfortunately, and with aid of many paternalistic attorneys, this power is abused. Mom can't balance her check book or Dad has a single episode evidencing some dementia-like behvior, and, poof, mom and dad are stripped of virtually all of their constitutional rights, that court having placed them in the hands of their child.

In reality, this all to often is done for the purpose of getting at mom or dad's money, often in an effort to get it out of the estate prior to death. Sometimes this is done because the son/daughter needs the money "today." Other times, it is done in order to rob a 3rd party who would otherwise stand to inherit a lot under a will. In any event, our firm considers this dasterdly, and in all but the most obvious cases believes that full guardianship goes too far.

We often represent the elderly in defending guardianship, trying to prove in the process that just because Mom can no longer balance her check book does not necessarily mean that her Son should be able to dictate to her whether or not she needs a nursing home, where that nursing home is, how much it costs, etc...At the least, our firm attempt to come up with less drastic measures to help meet everyone's needs, such as partial or limited guardianship ("guardian of the property" alone, "guardian of the person" alone), creative Powers of Attorney, and perhaps even a mediated agreement.

Beth and I continue to do very well, I think, issues regarding her absolute love of NYC not withstanding. How one person can tie one's hapiness to a geographic location, I will never fully understand. To me, happiness lies in the people with whom you are surrounded: your friends, family, and loved ones. When I travel, I tend to do so in an effort to visit these sorts of people, rather than just to voyeuristically take in a new landscape. My love for NJ has more to do with who lives here than with the beauty or intrigue of the state. I love Columbus, and not for the strip malls, but rather for the great friends I made there and the good times that were constantly facilitated by those people. In any event, I will never move or visit some place just for the sake of being there, or thinking that being there will magically fulfill me; I get much richer enrichment (ha) from spending some time with an old friend.

As far as major news goes, thats about it. I got to ski in Vermont 7 weekends this year, I think 17 total days on the snow, which was awesome. During the 3 years of law school I skied a total of 4 days, so this was a vast improvement. Of course I didn't touch the 40-60 days/year I was skiing during college, but having started a new job right at the beginning of ski season, I think managing that many weekends wasn't bad. In the process I got new skis, new boots, my first helmet, and a digital camera that attaches to that helmet. It was a good winter in that respect, but the snow really sucked.

I received 9 stitches in the corner of my mouth/on my lip during the first half of the annual Christmas Eve football game courtesy of a wicked kick from the foot of my teamate Chris Moore. That was a fun way to spend the holidays, eating from a straw. oh well.

New Years was spent in NYC at a Disco Biscuits concert with Beth and her always raucus and fun UMASS crowd. The evening started with a bang (as in I almost got nailed by a car spinning off the highway in some light snow), continued with a bang (when Beth and I had the pedestrian walking 3 feet in front of us get nailed by a car at about 30 mph and thrown 40 feet. He was alright)and went out with a bang (finally, the appropriate: fireworks and loud music).

Johnny had a pretty good Super Bowl Party.

He and I invented BNO (Boys Night Out) and it has become a standard feature on Thurs nights.

My Birthday was a bust mostly; the day of I felt sick as balls so dinner was improvised and the weekend we were sposed to celebrate was the one weekend it snowed hard. Boo. Got a sweet lawyer's briefcase from Beth which I use everyday and also said ski boots from Mom.

I went to a few Devils games for the first time in ages, and they were great. Beth experienced her FIRST ever Devils game with me; in fact, I believe she said it was her first ever professional sporting event! The Devils beat the Penguins 6-4 in a high scoring affair. Just tonite they clinched a playoff berth for the 9th straight year and are in the midst of an 8 game winning streak, so I am happy in that regard

I will probably have to take some time at some other point to discuss the Duke Lacrosse rape scandal, on which I have many a thought.

"Summer Breeze, makes me feel fine..."

2005-09-20T12:13:00.000-04:00

So the previous post covered through mid-August. This from Mid-August through Mid-September. I guess.

Nantucket was a blast. The weather was perfect, Dave was back on this continent. Ed is in love, and Tom might be on his way thanks to this lovely trip. We went to numerous beaches for swimming and dinner and cocktails (faves: Madaket and Tom Nevers. Surfside sucks.) We jollyed on Joe’s yacht for a day, including deploying the smaller boat and taking it ashore for a lunch of wine, meats and cheeses in the shadow of the Great Point lighthouse. Tom and I began making the transition to calling Mr. and Mrs. Thompson “Judy and Nigel” though it certainly felt odd. Nigel, Tom and I got in a round of golf which I’d rather not recall. Taboo was played to points of exhaustion but we all had fun. Too bad it couldn’t have lasted longer.

I’ve been back to the LV twice since the last post. Or, more accurately, have flown in and out of the LV while on the way to camping in our Nation’s glorious national parks: Zion, Bryce Canyon and The Grand Canyon. It was a good time. I especially enjoyed Bryce. They do get a bit a redundant after awhile, as canyons don’t vary much in appearance: they are big, red and mountainous. Nonetheless, the company was worth the trip alone, so the gorgeous vistas were just an added bonus.

Labor Day plans materialized at the last second as Marty and Alex decided to make the drive down to join the NYC/NJ metro area residents for fun and competitve board and parlor games down the shore. Also waves, beer, etc...

Spent a week or so hanging out with Sarah on her east coast swing up north. We had a great time though the weather and my grandfather’s teeth did not cooperate.

Also got to spend a few days with Ange and Ei, as we had an adventurous night in NYC watching the heartbreaking Buckeye loss to Texas. I hate Justin Zwick, and I don’t have any idea what Tressel was doing a) starting him and b) taking Troy Smith out after leading the Buckeyes on 5 consecutive scoring drives. Here is the pertinent quote from ESPN.COM: “Tressel was true to his promise, playing both Zwick and Smith at quarterback. Neither distinguished himself, and it looks like the quarterback competition will resume for the Buckeyes. [WHAT? ARE YOU KIDDING? LOOK WHAT YOU WROTE BELOW! NEITHER DISTINGUISHED HIMSELF??]

Smith ran for 27 yards, threw a touchdown pass to Santonio Holmes and led Ohio State on five scoring drives.

Zwick was 9-for-15 for 66 yards and led Ohio State to one field goal.”

What a season it could have been.

My Dad has decided to have his prostate removed, which I think is the best choice. His surgery is on Oct 14th, say a little prayer.

My grandfather turns 90 on Wednesday, God bless him. We are having a small party for him Friday. He is in absolutely amazing shape for a 90 year old. God willing we should all be that lucky.

"Summertime 2005 and the livin's easy"

2005-08-12T12:11:00.000-04:00

Massive Update:

I successfully moved back to NJ.

Though I attended Barbri classes to help prepare for the Bar Exam all summer, I did not truly begin studying until Beth left for Las Vegas (“the LV”) on July 5th. I worked my ass off for the following 3.5 weeks, but it remains to be seen (November) whether that is enough hardcore to pass.

The first day of the Bar (Multistate Bar Exam, the MBE) was hard, any way you slice it. The second day (7 essays, 1 hr each) I felt better about, but this is not necessarily a good sign.

I made it to the LV the 1st weekend in August. It wasn’t my fave (the Casinos, nightlife, restaurants) though I see the allure (especially the weather and the scenic mountains and such).

My Dad continues to have cancer, and still does not know if he is going to treat it a) with a prostate-scope/implanted isotope radiology/localized beam radiology regimen or with b) prostate removal surgery. His cardiologist, somewhat surprisingly, has given him the Go-ahead, so there is a very serious decision to be made. This weighs heavily, not that anyone ever asks.

My Uncle continues to waiver about job details and start dates, leaving me scraping for cash and answers.

I leave this Tuesday for a week in Nantucket with the Thompson clan and am very much looking forward to being trapped on an island.
I continue to play poker online at Bodog and continue to make money at same, have increased my original buy in by 12x or thereabouts.

I Want to Go Back to Ohio State, to Old Columbus Town....

2005-05-24T02:29:00.000-04:00

Well graduation has come and gone. It was okay. At the least, there was no Danny Glover which was good. The fam was here, but I only got to see my Dad in his hotel room because he was took sick from cancer medication which he had started taking the Monday before.

My Mom has developed a serious habit of over-photoing. Not that I didn’t see this coming as a kid, say, in Maine, as my brother and I posed with the dog each year for hours on end as Ma sought the world’s most perfect Christmas card; or in High School when she took 4 rolls of film before Senior prom during the picture-taking-hour at Redpath’s. But by this life event, it has become apparent that she has a problem in the mold of stereo-typed Japanese tourists in bad 80’s movies.

My Uncles enjoyed the Jack Nicklaus Museum, and the twins lived it up at COSI with the Aunts. I got to chill with my brother and overall it was a pretty good day/weekend.

Jon Murphy’s party on Saturday night was a blast, but the completely unexpected passing of his father the next Monday night puts a serious retrospective damper on the whole graduation party circuit. Thoughts and prayers go out to Jon, Meghan, and the rest of the Murphy clan.

My journal work wound up taking me about twice as long as I thought it would, which kept my from attending Beth’s graduation. I felt/feel really really bad about this. Hope she liked the flowers : \

On my second to last day in Ohio, I finally made it inside Eileen’s house (!) as we took part in a moving-bedframe-and-mattress-for-mexican-food-and-margaritas-lunch trade. Its kinda like oil-for-food except with less oil and more food. Alas, my time in the Kim household was short; there was no Gina to be found and Ei scratched up the wall with a piece of her bed frame. Mrs. Kim did not take too kindly to this. I thought I heard Ei blame it on me by saying “He didn’t do it on purpose” but she claims otherwise. Oh well.

Somehow I have to get packed within the next 30 hours or so. And by packed I mean EVERYTHING. This could get interesting. Hopefully I do not have more shit tan I am anticipating.

Update at 2:32 AM: I have more shit than I was anticipating. This IS getting interesting.
I also just realized that this is my last night in 965 Manor Lane, Apartment L, Columbus, Ohio 43221. Add it to the list: 685 Robbins Road, Hale House, Dickson 55, Townhouse H, Cornell-in-Washington Center (O St.), 705 East Buffalo Street.

Hmm also interesting fact: I spent exactly 1 more semester in Ithaca than in Columbus. And I spent twice as many semesters at Manor Lane than I spent at 705 Doesn’t feel like it though.

Ok, I must sleep. U-Haul Rental beckons manana. Sweet.

Dose Va Don Ya.

2005-05-10T02:26:00.000-04:00

"Well I Though About the Army, Dad Said 'Son you're fuckin' high!'"

...so I stayed in law school instead...

It’s the eve, errr early morning of my last academic final ever. I say academic final because exam would be a misnomer, given that the bar exam looms.

It has been a long time since I’ve blogged. I anticipate this rate increasing as the doldrums of bar studying and the summer set in. That being said, the next 6 weeks will be busy.

My last entry ended prior to what turned out to be an AWESOME trip to Stratton. My back, as anticipated, was sore for a long time.

Since then, a lot has happened:

My Dad was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer in mid-April.

I spent a weekend in Ithaca with Scott and Joe.

I went home for March break, incl. NYC, Westfield and Hoboken.

I spent a weekend in Amherst.

I lost 11 pounds.

I opened my first online poker account and made $80.00

I got rejected from 5 firms with whom I had final round interviews.

I got a job with my Uncle and his partners.

I grew a beard. Twice.

I developed slight insomnia after opening aforementioned poker account.

I discovered www.lowbrow.com

I injured my wang.

I got into marinades.

I went up a club on all my yardages; I now hit an 8 iron 165 yds.

I put my condo on the market.

Joe and Sarah fell in love. Not with each other.

We lost in the finals and failed to win our 4th bowling championship in 5 tries.

The NHL Season was officially canceled.

Cornell beat OSU in the sweet 16 but failed to reach the Frozen 4.

Cornell is currently 3rd nationally in lacrosse. Delbarton is 7th. Yes, nationally.

I successfully gave up pizza and food after 10 pm for Lent.

I made new friends (Rita!) I kept the old (Sharon!). One is silver and the other’s gold.

I went for a hike. It was fun.

And most importantly, I DISCOVERED BAKED CHEETOS. WOW.

Okay, it’s 2:24 am. This will be the earliest I have gone to bed in…3 weeks. Last. Academic. Final. Ever. Tomorrow. Well…today.

Tude. Els.

2005-01-20T16:06:00.000-05:00

"Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right
here I am, stuck in the middle with you."

"I went looking for trouble...and boy did I find her."

Let's see since the last entry:

The NJ Crew's 7th Annual Christmas Eve Morning Football came and went. My team was victorious and I won, for the first time, MVP. Considering the shape I am in, this was no small accomplishment.

Christmas was melancholy as the passing of my paternal grandma occurred on Christmas morning. I qualify "grandma" with "paternal" because the person who I called "grandma" growing up was in fact my stepgrandma, while the recently departed was "Nana." I didn't have much relationship with Nana following a sizeable fight between her and her children (my Dad and Aunt Deborah) when I was about 13. This was only furthered by her summer residence in Greeley, Colorado and summer residence on Spain's Costa Del Sol (Mediterranean). Thus she was geographically and emotionally detached from myself, and from stories I've heard, this was fairly exemplary of the way she led her life. Despite my lack of relationship with her, it was a difficult morning, especially for my Father, who marked Christmas with the passing of both of his parents within a 2 month span. "When the last of our parents' generation passes, then we become the elders."

I got a day of skiing in, during those slippery days between Christmas and New Years. Ahh the lovely Poconos, where rain flows like wine and smelly, novice NYC skiers instinctively flock (in their Starter Jackets and Canal Street Yankee "wool" caps) like the Salmon of Capistrano. The skiing wasn't great considering the DRIVING FUCKING RAIN, but the company made up for it. I also learned how bad my back is holding up these days to the rigors of downhill skiing, and that 3 hours in the hot tub doesn't do much to help. Oh Well.

New Years was a good, scandalous time in sunny Upstate New York, with a couple nights on Keuka Lake sandwiched between nights in jolly ole Ithaca, where I was able to visit the folks down at Ithaca Beer Co. and celebrate poor M-izzle's birthday. The bad part about having your birthday 1 day after New Years is, well, everything. All during college people would be home on vacation during it, and after college everyone has to travel back to their place of drudgery (aka employment) so they can work the next day. Some even have to work on the 2nd. So I was happy to make it an occasion. Smooches.

New Years Eve itself was slightly disappointing. The party was very subdued (I'd say bordering on boring) and there were certain parties who did NOT do their fair shares of any of the following: organizing, setting up, cooking, CLEANING, participating, or generally being nice to be around. Future plans will have to be made more carefully, and guest lists will have to be more carefully constructed. That being said, I do enjoy getting the whole gang (sans Bama) together and playing touch PP.

The rest of break flew by once I was back, and school soon descended like the shadow of a tall tree over a backyard sunbather who has fallen asleep. The first weekend back saw drama crop up that I tried urgently and actively to avoid but which reared its ugly head nonetheless. All in all I guess it went okay.

Monday saw me once again traveling to Ithaca, this time via the Seneca Nation Indian Casino off route 86 in western New York. And by western New York I mean the lake-effect-snow-belt. And by snow I mean I love driving through it for 7 hours. At least I won at the casino, precious dollars would I immediately departed with once I returned to Cbus (the VW dealership held me up at 10,000mileservice-gunpoint). I got sick while frolicking in the snow in Ithaca which made most of my stay pretty miserable (and for other obvious reasons...)

So school has set back in, and I am still fighting this infirmity. The JDR Symposium appears to have been a success, and bowling was fun as usual. On the docket this weekend: STRATTON!!! Fuck yeah, I just hope my back, health, and the weather all hold up.

Sigh Oh Nor Uhhh.

2004-12-20T01:31:00.000-05:00

Current Temparture: 1

Yes, that is Fahrenheit too. Last final tomorrow, then bring on the Hollydays. With it this cold and snow on the ground, how can one's thoughts not turn to skiing? I just hope I'm able to get to the mountain despite being carless over break. I heart skiing.

That's all for now. Boring.

2004-12-14T01:21:00.000-05:00

Winter's Here, Bout Time

First snow of the year today, bout freakin time tankoo. Usually I watch The Shining to mark this important occasion, but alas Children and the Law final tomorrow dictates nonono. Will have to be put off til weekend or sumting.

I was so happy to look outside and see snow on the ground, LONGEST FALL EVER, it made me realize that I will never be able to live in a place where it does not snow. Maybe its weird, maybe its the skiing thing, I dunno, but there is something about snow on the ground that makes me feel notdead. I can't imagine raising children in a place without snow. There is something about snow that is magical and I think it comes from childhood. Of course it was fun to play in, ski down and sled on. But I think its more than that; I think its the inextricable link to SNOW DAYS, i.e. God's gifts to children. That is the gift that keeps on giving ALL year, Clark. Keep it comin' God! Sharon <3 Kimchee but I <3 snow!

Also, are finals over yet?

2004-12-03T09:49:00.000-05:00

Rankings Redux

I think there should be some way to include in the rankings that CORNELL FUCKING SUCKS for taking down my entire website without any notification to me beforehand. Only by the grace of an everloving God did I, for some random reason [thanks Zilch!] backup my entire website about a month ago. This does not make me any less pissed.

The 705ers were discussing, during a particularly slow work/school day, what we would each do if we received US $30,000,000.00 at one time:

"You know what I would do if I had a million dollars? I would invest half of it in glorious mutual funds and take the other half over to my friend Asadulah who works in securities and..." name who.

ok, $30 million?

First $12.5 million - real Estate
-Modest Mansion, Far Hills, NJ - $4 mil
-not so Modest Nantucket vacation house, $7 mil
-Modest ski condo/house at Yellowstone Club: $500,000
-Modest ski condo, Stratton, VT (for weekends when I cannot make it to Montana): $500,000
-705 East Buffalo Street, Ithaca, NY - $500,000

Next $2 million - Fun things
- a Porsche Carrera GT, a yellow Defender 90, A silver Range Rover, a black s600 (w/ the v12), and a Audi A4 (1.8T of course) for my girlfriend/wife/mistress/whateveryoucallher. Approx: $750,000
-Membership fee and 20 or so years of annual dues to belong to Trump National Golf Club, Bedminster, NJ: $500,000
-Membersship fee and 20 or so years of annual dues to belong to the Yellowstone Club, Yellowstone, MT: $500,000
-new wardrobe: $50,000
-40 foot basic ocean cruiser, to go back and forth between beach properties: $180,000
-Fancy watch on which I cannot now decide: $20,000

Next $5 Million: Low risk investment, including staggered maturity bonds and CDs, producing income for me at (conservatively) 5% annually ($250k).

Next $5 million: Higher risk investment, including stocks and funds, producing income for me in (hopefully) the 10-15% annually range ($500k+plus a year).

Last $5.5 Million: medium risk investment producing hopefully about 10% ($550,000) annually, to be divided up as follows: 50% to Far Hills Country Day School; 18% each to Delbarton School and Cornell University [if they put my website back up! bastards!]; and the last 14% or so to OSU Law, such that my annual giving reflects the # of years of education received from the instution in relation to the total # of years I was in school (22=11+4+4+3). I retain complete control over that $5.5 million principal however.

I would also continue working, at least somewhat, and would like to teach english and social studies and coach soccer and lacrosse at Far Hills. I would also like to be on the Board of Trustees at both Delbarton and FHCDS.

PETER: Lawrence, what would you do if you had a million dollars?
LAWRENCE: I'll tell you what I'll do, man--Two chicks at the same time.
PETER: That's it? If you had a million dollars, that's what you'd do, two chicks at the same time?LAWRENCE:Damn straight, man. I've always wanted to do that. I figure if I were a millionaire, I could hook that up. Chicks dig guys with money.
PETER: Well not all chicks….
LAWRENCE: Well, the type that double up on a guy like me do.
PETER: Good point.

2004-11-23T17:04:00.000-05:00

Finally, Someone Got it Right!

While I normally have problems with University rankings, generally because of where they rank Cornell, it appears as though The Times of London Higher Education Supplement has at least got the Ivies right, ranking Harvard (1), Yale, Princeton, Columbia, Cornell (23), U Penn, Brown and Dartmouth, in that order. Cornell has been hurt in other rankings by various factors, not the least of which is the Hotel School which relies on (and requires) an interview in acceptance decisions over and above SAT score. We are also hurt by the combination of State and Private Colleges; When having a description of the State Colleges presented, at least some commentators have termed them the “Cornell B Squad” when compared to the Private Colleges. Arguably, however, it is the very breadth of disciplines available to students, provided by these varied Colleges, that gives Cornell is greatest strength. The problem to me is that there is no way for this concept to make it into the rankings! Boo-urns.

2004-11-04T09:08:00.000-05:00

Gay Marriage Bans passed in all 11 states, but none of those were states that really mattered (arguably, Ohio and Michigan might matter a little, but its still the Midwest). As soon as a real state defeats a Gay Marriage Ban or passes an affirmative Gay Marriage Allowance, call me (e.g. CA, NY, MA, NJ, VA, MD, FL, PA). Ohioans should be ashamed of themselves, for once again demonstrating to the rest of the country that the Midwest, like the South, is an intellectual and philosophical wasteland sandwhich betweened the Free Thinking, and Educated coasts that really drive this country. Of course jobs are leaving Ohio and the Midwest; who the fuck would want to stay??

2004-10-28T13:42:00.000-04:00

26-1

On a recent interview, I hit it off with my final interviewer, and we got to talking baseball. Her first question of the interview, actually, was “Are you a Yankees fan?” I quickly learned that she was a Sox fan. Once we got through the drudgery of the normal parts of the interview, we got to talk some baseball and at some point during that discourse I said something like: “Well, some of my closest friends are Red Sox fans; my Dad’s side of the family hails from Medford, Mass., and my grandfather was an ardent Red Sox fan his whole life. So, with that kind of background, and since your office door is closed, but still as a Yankees fan, at some point you get to a place where you know, you have to feel sorry for the Red Sox.” As soon as I said it, I knew I regretted it; her jaw almost hit the desk as it dropped. “I have NEVER heard a Yankees fan say something like that before!!” Well sweety, that’s because a Yankees fan SHOULDN’T EVER SAY THAT. What was I thinking?! And then, to make me eat my words, the Red Sox go and win. Only a few short weeks after my Grandfather passes away. Oh the injustice! Even though he was born in 1914, my grandfather, for all intents and purposes, never got to see his team win a championship. What a slap in the face kick in the balls.

1918, 1923, 1927, 1928, 1932, 1936, 1937, 1938, 1939, 1941, 1943, 1947, 1949, 1950, 1951, 1952, 1953, 1956, 1958, 1961, 1962, 1977, 1978, 1996, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2004

Still makes quite a sandwhich doesn't it?

2004-10-21T10:10:00.000-04:00

Homecoming and Some Videos

Ahhh, another year, another Homecoming weekend. Lots of fun, finally got my hat that had been at Eric's house since last year. Stole some signs. And by some I mean lots. $490 tab +$130 bill at Ruloff's. We win again. Eric's bathroom is a romantic place apparently [yeah, that is disgusting]. I threatened someone's life with a pitchfork. You know, the usual. I hate driving though. Also gas prices. Also Indian nation casinos. Also, Ithaca Beer Co., who, DESPITE having PICTURES OF ME hanging in their store, as well as a copy of a gushing email written by me (in which I state "Can't wait to come stock up on cases of Apricot Wheat next time I'm in Ithaca, at Cornell Homecoming") have NO CASES OF BOTTLES WHATSOEVER. What am I gonna do with that, pay taxes? So instead I had make due with 3 cases from a local beer store at $27/case. ARGGHH. Anywho, if this pisses you off like it did me, watch these for a quirky lift. Very funny.

Jon Stewart tearing assholes up.

My anus is bleeding!

2004-09-29T11:19:00.000-04:00

For Those That Hate the ACLU

I have a few friends that have a hatred for the ACLU. I think they view it as a liberal troublemaker, who constantly interferes with lawmakers' ability to pass laws they think useful to society, or for law enforcement officials to enforce those laws. This really pisses me off. I think the ACLU is an incredibly valuable organization, because it, in a sense, is the modern voice of our Constitution. All the laws, and the moral values they reflect, that exist in our country, have their basis in the Constitution. Some see it as an antiquated document with little relevancy to our modern society, but any law student will tell you this incredibly wrong. And if there is one thing that law school has instilled in my beliefs that was not there beforehand, its the importance of Constitutional rights. Because without the Constitution, our whole system of government, and the way of life it supports and allows all of us to enjoy, would disappear. Of course the document itself would not disappear (though I think there is an upcoming Nick Cage flick based on this retarded idea); so then, the Constitution would disappear in the sense I am talking about if, and only if, it were allowed to fade into the background through irrelevancy. The only way to prevent this is to assert the Constitution, i.e. our individual constitutional rights, in the face of laws or actions which, unchecked, would render the Constitution meaningless. And who does the standing up, this assertion, in a world and a court system dominated by large entities (the Federal and State governments, large corporations, large non-profit organizations, etc)? The ACLU. Maybe they go too far sometimes, maybe they are a polemic, but they serve, in my opinion, a RIDICULOUSLY important function in today's ever invasive society (personal freedoms, meet reality TV, the internet, networked surveillance cameras the size of a quarter, microphones the size of a pin, etc etc etc).

2004-09-27T23:01:00.000-04:00

Friday Night Lights

Well Fall is upon us. The presidential election is heating up, and by "heating up," I mean continuing to bore me. The NHL lockout is ice cold, and the worst part is, no one really notices. At least not yet. As soon as the Superbowl is over, and everyone realizes that, much like there is "no crying in baseball," there is also no defense in the NBA , people will miss hockey (Of course, there are those that may miss hockey the whole time, but they are Canadian and therefore not really people). They will miss it, whoooo, at least until March Madness...

As for my own sporting endeavors, we talked a little too much trash and maybe didn't get the caliber play from certain supposed ringers [not as billed] in the intramural golf scramble, which cost me a $10 side bet in addition to the $45 entrance fee. Softball team lost in the championship game, thanks mostly to a complete lack of heart by a handful of key team members who decided either not to show up (because of papers whose deadlines have been known for months) or to come 25 minutes late. Bowling continues to run smoothly though.

This weekend is Delbarton Homecoming and the start of Fall Break, and if last year is any indicator, it should be a really good time. I'll be happy to see the fellas again, and bask in the warm glow of all things Jersey; on my list are FV L+S at DD's, 2 slices at Suvio's, a night or 2 in AC, Mall at Short Hills, Century 21, and Taylor Ham of course. Delicious. I'm carless though, so we'll see what happens. Job interview at McCarter & English, please, God knows I've been patient.

More tomorrow.

2004-09-01T15:10:00.000-04:00

In response to Comment by Schubert:

I do not think there is anything inherently hipocritcal about being fiscally conservative and socially liberal. You can become hipocritical based on particularized beliefs (e.g. I believe in equality but I am not willing to support or pay for any program akin to affirmative action) but it is not inherent. One can remain pro-choice and pro-gay marriage and simultaneously advocate fiscal restraint and lower taxes; I'd like to know how that is hipocritical.

Social programs are necessary, but like any outlay of capital in any program, they need to produce a return of some sort. All I am saying is the programs that do not produce a return need to be altered, or perhaps replaced, by something that may. Of course there is a constant diametric tension between a program's need for more money, and citations of that program's lack of results. There are of course poorly funded programs that produce amazing results AND well funded programs that produce poor results. All I am saying is that the government, nay, moreso, the taxpayer, deserves a return for his dollar, i.e. some general social good flowing out of the programs he is funding. And the conceptual underpinnings of fiscal responsibility combined with my satirical views of government, especially large, Federal government, raises in me the suspicion that government in general is not always well-suited to produce return on the dollar for the taxpayer. Politicians tend to make decisions, including decisions with taxpayer money, that get them relected, rather than producing social good from taxpayer dollar. Nonprofits, philanthropists and the like, with less public scrutiny of action and "no" elections to worry about can make better decisions in many (though not all) situations.

If I am taxed at 35% and forced to allow the government to redistribute that, I may protest that not all of it is distributed wisely. If the rate were reduced to cover more basic government expenses, say to 15 or 20%, and I was then required to give the remainder 15-20% to charities I've chosen (perhaps from a pre-approved list) I would sleep better at night. In other words, I trust my own decisions with my money more so than the decisions of politicians.

I any event, I don't think there is anything inherently hipocritcal between fiscal conservatism and social liberalism.

Also, check your facts and language when discussing money. When we speak of taxes here, I take that to generally mean income tax, so if you're talking about income when you say the "richest 10 percent" you are talking overwhelmingly about lawyers. See these figures, and do a CTRL + F search for "Household Income at Selected Percentiles." The lower limit for the 95th percentile in 1998 in current dollars was $132,199.00/annual. I think a good percentage of lawyers fall within this top 5%, even more if you dropped it down to 10%. Even now, as a fulltime student, if I am considered part of my family's household, we fall within that top 5%. We aren't millionaires or anything, but with wealth distribution being what it is in this country, this is how it is.

In fact, in light of this, wouldn't it be even more scary if, as you say, social liberalism and fiscal conservatism are incongruet? In other words, what if there were no "rich people" (fiscal conservatives) who were simultaneiously liberal socially? Put it another way, we should be thankful that there are rich people (presuming the vast majority of rich people to be at least somewhat fiscally conservative) who are simultaneously socially liberal because the Rich are synonmous with the Powerful and if all the Powerful were Socially Conservative we'd be living in a vastly different social climate. E.g.'s Corzine and Kerry, off the top of my head (though most politicians likely fall in this 95th percentile or above anyway).

2004-08-31T15:32:00.000-04:00

On the Fence:

This is a copy of an email response in a line of emails with NJ peeps, initiated by some political disagreements between Reza (liberal Kerry supporter) and Mark (conservative Bush supporter). I asked for both sides to present the arguments in favor of their candidate to me (as an on-the-fence voter in a crucial swing state). What I received were a lot of negative arguments directed at each of my friends' candidate's opponents.

ok let me just say this is not what i intended when i asked people to convince me one way or another to vote for their candidate. I dont care what has happened in the past; i'm willing to forgive kerry's flip flops just as i'm willing to forgive bush's mistakes with intelligence. Both men are charismatic leaders but they are still men, and thus come with a full array of attendant human flaws. Simultaneously, as another human, those flaws can be justified (or demonized) when viewed from the advantaged vantage of Now. Okay, Bush went into war with faulty intelligence and has staid a truely gruesome course in the face of much dissent. You can demonize this as stupidty, meglomaniasicsm, stubborness or evil. Or you can lawd it as showing resolve, showing proactive action, showing leadership, or showing courage. And Okay, so Kerry flip-flops on his views of certain things, such as supporting the war in Iraq. You can demonize this as him being spineless, wishy-washy, a spin-doctor, or as being without conviction. Or you can lawd is as showing intelligence, the ability to admit being previously wrong, or the ability to re-assess a situation in light of new information or new realities. I dont really care about these things. I dont care about either's history, e.g. the decision to enter Iraq or the decision to throw away medals from Vietnam.

One of my least favorite things lawyers do is discrediting of witnesses based on character. E.g. when a women testifies on her own behalf in a rape case, the defense attorney classically attempts to discredit her by painting her as a whore, dragging out her sexual history as much as possible into the proceeding and thereby making her seem less credible and less worthy of sympathy (and making his client less culpable). What Mark, Matt (and reza, in his one email) have been doing is akin to this. Seeking to invalidate the other candidate on the basis of his past actions (or to validate him through defense of those actions) is to me the base-est sort of human power of persuasion. It is what the mass media stoops to in order to reach the widest audience it can (the NY Times is the most sophisticatedly written paper in the country, and it is written to an EIGHTH GRADE LEVEL.)

Can someone talk to me about the future? About what is going to be done about the economy which we all concede is not good right now; about the mess of war; about the spectre of terrorism; etc etc etc.

Convince me who to vote for if:
-I like to make money, want to get a job, and want to keep any money i make from any job i get.
-I like my constitutional freedoms, my privacy, my rights as they are now.
-I think that our social programs are still severly flawed, but that we need social programs of some sort.
-I like peace of mind, security, feeling safe both when i go to sleep at night, and when i buckle my seatbelt for takeoff.
-I like both resolve and an ability to admit wrongdoing in my leaders. Both a spine and honesty.
-I feel seriously nauseous each and everytime I see the NY skyline.
-I like to download music and other content on the internet and believe it falls within my constitutional right to do so.

Who is my candidate?
Tell me what Mr. Bush and Mr. Kerry will do for my interests.

I mean this is America. What is more important than my interests?

2004-08-11T15:39:00.000-04:00

Pints of Sammy A for Lunch

Loyd Xmas 02: what will $100 get us?
miknorahs: might get you a fuzzy shot of the crease in my elbow that i try to convince you is my ass.

2004-08-09T11:06:00.000-04:00

Gambling and the Art of Wasting a Summer

Recently discovered that poker is fun. But at the casino, blackjack is the only way to fly, as I continue to win. Which makes me think "What should I get with this found money?" And I really can't think of anything that wouldn't be a complete waste. I need nothing. Other than a job. Please give me a job. Preferably, something for about $100k a year, working 40-50 hours a week, within 30 miles of Far Hills, New Jersey. Tankoo.

There are times in one's life that closely replicate the past. Now is one of those times, as I recall not senior year in college as much as senior spring of high school. In many ways. This will be a sad little year. But the end of school forever is a good thing too. I welcome being paid rather than pay-ying. Now if I could just get a job. Please give me a job. See above. Also, club membership so that I don't ever again have to play a 6 hour round of golf like I did yesterday. Horrid. Just horrid.

That's all for now. Don't feel like getting into it. Blah.

2004-07-14T10:55:00.000-04:00

My Friends' High Opinion of Me

miknorahs: i was just imagining you singing "i love beaver. beaver beaver beaver."
Loyd Xmas 02: haha
miknorahs: dad loves beaver.

2004-06-29T14:58:00.000-04:00

"And I know, while thus the quiet-coloured eve
Smiles to leave
To their folding, all our many-tinkling fleece
In such peace,
And the slopes and rills in undistinguished grey
Melt away--
That a girl with eager eyes and yellow hair
Waits me there
In the turret whence the charioteers caught soul
For the goal,
When the king looked, where she looks now, breathless, dumb
Till I come."

Celebrity interaction continues this summer; Went to AC last weekend and won $360 at the Borgata (which, btw, I recommend above all other AC Casinos) and got to play 10 hands of blackjack with David Spade (he lost money). Apparently EJ Solimine was also there with Ken Danyeko, who, coincedentally, will join Jim Breuer in having his kids at FHCDS next year.

lovely lovely. more to follow.

2004-06-14T16:54:00.000-04:00

Clusterfuk Summer 2004

So Friday night was an interesting time. What a random group of degnerates. Gathered at Croxley Ales in the East Village, complete with Adventure Parking on Avenue C. The outdoor Beer Garden was nice though. Representing were about 6 member of Cornell class of 2003, another 3 from class of 2002 and 1 from 2005; 2 members of Holy Cross 2002 and 2 from 2005; and 5 Georgetown class of 2002. A retardedly drunk Chris and Tim Moore (Holy Cross) got kicked out for throwing hot wax in the bar (but give them credit for waitin 2 hours for the rest of us to leave), much money was spent, and a good time was had by all I wreckon. Tom Perna's X5 left the city weigh-laid with 8 drunken fools, but we got home safe. Laura's apartment sleeps 4 nicely, and I made out with Chloe all morning long. I love Asian girls. Saturday was a mediocre round of golf followed by a calm night in the Moore's hot tub. Sunday was a horrid round of golf (full with random calls at my house from personal historical figures) followed by first hand witnessing of soccer hooliganism at The Office following England first round collapse v. France in the EuroCup.

What is it about figures from one's past that is so, I don't know, stimulating? Maybe its because you know they aren't boring like the vast majority of idiots you meet? Or is it because you have invested time or effort into them, thought you were getting no return on that investment, but then (when they re-enter your life) you think "hmm, maybe THIS is the return on the investment??" Is that it?

I don't know what it is. But I know it was an interesting tweekend.

Out of town till Thursday night. My first real business trip. Suite.

2004-06-09T16:25:00.000-04:00

"I see your schwartz is as big as mine"

So Monday night, in the throws of the Johnny-Laura break-up (I had to driver her out to the woods...you get the idea), and after a quick little round of Pitch-and-Putt, Johnny and I got to the Blackhorse for some beers with Ed and Mark. The Pub (or "Pube" as we call it) is see-and-be-seen type bar where the Trust Fund set go for a beer, a burger, and some face time. They only have valet parking, and there are a few select spots up front for the fancy cars. If a SL500 is parked there and you pull up in a Modena, they'll move the SL to park you in front. That type of place. We like to go there cause you can wear pink or seersucker pants and your collar up no problem, and because its close. The food basically sucks (but try the Monterey Jack sticks, delicious, the lice hate the sugar) but its part of our youth and we sorta know the owner (Jen and her sister worked there and Johnny's parents went there so frequently they know him too). Anywho, we are sitting there on Monday night, watching the Stanley Cup finals on TV, when in walk 4 people clad in uberfashionable motorcycle clothing. The really high-end kind you see in GQ or the stores at Short Hills you can't afford to go in, let alone buy anything from. One of them is a 6 foot 3 inch blonde guy. As I look up, Mark says "umm, Jay, is that Martin Brodeur??" and holyfuck, it was. He sits down at the corner table and is obviously trying to get the bar facing that table to change to a different channel. I advise the bartender that he might want to put the hockey game on that screen, so he does. I ponder for awhile going up and saying Hi, but decide not to, given the type of establishment we were at, that he looked involved with the other 3 people in his party, and that there were a grand total of 15 people in the place. Instead, I tell the bartender that his next drink (Guiness) is on me. when he finishes his first, the waiter brings him another one, and points to me. I nod, and Marty holds his glass up to toast me, nods, and says Thank You from across the bar. Fancy! Later, I am taking a wiz with Ed and he finishes before me. Well guess who saddles up next to me at the urinal just as I'm finishing! Marty! I tell him its too bad the Flames couldn't pull it out, I was rooting for them (as was he--obvi, the guy is the starting goalie for Team Canada) and he concurs. Then, as I am getting my car from the Valet, he is getting on his motorcycle with his friends and as I drive by I yell (ubergay) "Get em next year Marty" he responds with "Thanks for the beer!" and I drive off. sparks flew, emotions ran high, ...he actually TALKED to me man!

I got a chubby.

2004-06-04T12:08:00.000-04:00

The Jersey Sure

"Well now, ev’rything dies, baby, that’s a fact
But maybe ev’rything that dies someday comes back
Put your makeup on, fix your hair up pretty
And meet me tonight in Atlantic City...

...Now our luck may have died and our love may be cold
But with you forever I’ll stay
We’re goin’ out where the sand’s turnin’ to gold
Put on your stockin’s baby, `cause the night’s getting cold
And baby ev’rything dies, baby, that’s a fact
But maybe ev’rything that dies someday comes back."

Sooo we had a good weekend down the Shore over Memorial Day. Got to see some Ohia folks and John Pantalena came down from the city. Gave them a lil taste of the boardwalk and the area. Yummy. tastes like cheesesteak. also a fun round of golf on Monday in the driving rain. Mark and Johnny wussed out on the 2nd nine like the pretty boys that they are. 'Tis to be expected. Work comes and goes.

Had Rachel's graduation party last night. Lots of fun. Pics to follow shortly. OPEN BAR DUDE! GIMME SIX SCHLITZES!!! And today is pay day. woohoo! and I am wearing pink pants! does it get any better?

I think summer is finally settling down into itself. Kind of like finals is a combustive event producing clouds of dust and disorganization. Hauling ass out of Columbus only means that mushroom will get to me later. And I think it has finally come, covered me in mess, and left. And I can now shower it off and live in the calm. My job is no longer overtly new; my car is broken in. Work-out routine is down pat. She-who-will-not-be-mentioned is far across the pond. We have a rotating golf teetime at different county courses every weekend. I have an internet radiostation set-up. it plays random shit. check it out.

Its not a bad life, this; slow, predictable, making-money-rather-than-spending it, good friends, good weather, not as many headaches. Granted, I spend most of my time trying to make other people happy (my boss, my friends with their problems, organizing and hosting shit) but I guess I bring it on my self, and in a sense am happy to do. I derive happiness from the successful completion thereof, and it may benefit me down the road in re: people skills, my career etc...Anyone can spend all their time making themselves happy, that is purely masterbatory and as long as one knows one's self, knowing how to make yourself happy is no challenge (see above re: golfing every weekend). This is why girls should buy vibrators, but that is a whole other tangent. Trying and failing to make yourself happy is also fairly easy, and I would blame it on being out-of-touch with oneself and with who one really is; but to attempt to make others happy is an entirely differeny ball game, a guessing game, and a lot more demanding. I think if you can do that, even for a short time, you have good personal skills. I mean, what percentage of us truly move the focus off our own selfish needs (and more dangerously, selfish fears and insecurities)? Not a lot. Some of my friends do, and some don't. The ones who do are able to give of themselves equally in the relationship, which leads to the best kind of friendship you can have, and the long lasting kind too. With others its more of a one way street. While I am not one to turn my back on a friend EVER, it is a matter of fact that these relationships die sooner.

Anyway, my rambling is over. Time to go cash my check and get lunch. Yay for money! TOODLE$

2004-05-28T10:57:00.000-04:00

HELLO, HELLO, hello, is there anybody out there?

Well, back after a long delay, what do I have to say. Finals came and went, thank God that is over. Got my Grades, mediocre as usual. Started working, and it is educational and intellectually challenging without being stimulating or interesting, know what I mean? Keeps me busy and there is a Dunkin on the way which makes it all worthwhile. I work with some good guys and my 4 bosses are all pretty nice. I've been playing golf every weekend, sometimes twice, and I have a horrid golfer's tan which makes me look pretty funny when I prance around the house topless in my French Maid costume (Reza bought it for me). Reza and I have been working out almost everyday that we aren't playing golf. Hopefully we can keep it up.

"THIS SUMMER'S GONNA ROCK" was always our mantra growing up, but its become a sarcastic joke now; everyone is depressed. Those with jobs mostly hate them and work too much; those without jobs are depressed and feel like they have no game or mojo. To make matters worse...You've heard of the Summer of Love (1969)? Welp, this summer is quickly becoming the Summer of Snub. Snubalupagus (Ed) and Snubbermaid (Johnny) are in a Cold War of sorts and are stockpiling snubs. They launch then at eachother from their phones, cars, emails, and text messages. I am afraid they both have covert construction going on Snubmarines. For those who don't grasp the concept of the snub:

KRAMER (to Jerry): You are never gonna believe who I just ran into today.

JERRY: Who?

KRAMER: Your old flame. Gail Cunningham.

JERRY: Did you talk to her?

KRAMER: Well, I was on my way to the Y, and I saw her coming towards me? I didn't know what to do! Because I remembered you had three dates with her and she wouldn't kiss you goodnight. So now I'm thinking, what is my duty to my friend? Do I acknowledge her? Do I ignore her? I mean, what is my responsibility here?

JERRY: So what happened?

KRAMER: Yeah, yeah, so she sees me and she goes, "Oh, hi! Kramer!" You know? Like nothing happened! Like she never went three dates with you and refused to kiss you goodnight.

JERRY: Yeah, I know about the three dates.

KRAMER: You know what I did? I snubbed her.

JERRY: What do you mean, you snubbed her?

KRAMER: I walked right by her - bffffft - never said a word.

JERRY (smiling): Right by her?

KRAMER: Right by her!

JERRY (to George, hugs Kramer happily): What you do say about a guy like this, huh! You are some great friend, I tell ya, snubbed her! Not that I condone it. I've never condoned snubbing in my administration. Your loyalty is beyond question.

KRAMER: Yeah. Well, you know, she was lucky I was in a good mood - coulda been a lot worse.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
KRAMER: I just kissed Gail Cunningham.

JERRY: You what?

KRAMER: Yeah, I kissed her.

JERRY: You kissed her?

KRAMER: Right on the mouth.

JERRY: What kinda great friend are you? How do you go from snubbing to kissing?

KRAMER: Well, I saw her outside the Y, you know, she came up to me, she started yelling because I snubbed her, and then we started talking a little bit, and I walked her to her building. And just before I left, I put my arm around her waist, I pulled her to me, and I - mmm - I planted one!

JERRY: And what did she do?

KRAMER: She kissed me back.

JERRY: I don't get this. I go out with this girl three times, she doesn't want to shake my hand - why's she kissing you?

KRAMER (realizing): Because I snubbed her. You see? Women, they like that! Yes! I understand women. The snub is good, they love the snub!

GEORGE: No they don't. I tried that once. I snubbed for a year. Nothing. Every woman I saw, I snubbed. You never saw people so pleased.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

That's all from Snubland. Downtime at work comes and goes, and we are getting off early today, so that means an early lunch! Buffalo Burger here I come!

2004-05-05T01:44:00.000-04:00

Unit Beast: DRINK THE BEERS AND NAIL THE FATTIES

sage advice my friend, sage advice.

well, happy Cinco De Mayo everyone. Woohoo. Is there anything worse than a holiday designed for drinking (mmm, Corona) falling on (mmm, margarita) the day (mmm, tequila) before an (mmm sangria) exam? Answer is no, obvi.

I received some anti-blog sentiment from my crew back home in NJ today. They didn't even know what a blog was. I guess if it doesn't have to do with being greedy, cars and stocks, its out of their vernacular [that was a joke..."oh! rimshot!"]. I can deal with it though. They mean well. Lovers.

Well, Mergers stands on the horizon. Behind it, a cooler full of beer and a couple fun days. Amazing what 3 Molsons, 2 Advil, 1 game of Literati and 0 lights on in your apartment will due to heal a frazzled disposition.

Jason23K: ok we'll find hot southern pigeons to bang

"and on that note, I say 'peace.'" - Rakim

2004-05-04T02:41:00.000-04:00

"There's nothin' much that we can do
To save you from yourself" - Weezer

So I went to see Kill Bill Vol. 2 tonight. It was okay. Don't hurt yourself running to see it. I was disappointed I didn't get to see an "Anchorman" preview, I love when Will Farrell sings "I love scotch, scotcha-scotcha-scotch. It tastes so good, get in my belly." This, combined with Alex's IM greeting of "mmmm. bourbon," reminded me that I have no hard alcohol in the house. Must be remedied by Thursday. What kind of Cornell boy am I? Further, what kind of Cornell boy am I that I haven't heard about thefacebook.com yet? Apparently, its like "Friendster for the Ivies." They've expanded to non-Ivy schools too (BU, BC, MIT, Michigan, etc..) but alas, no OSU (despite the seemingly inexplicable inclusion of Illinois and Michigan St.!!??). I'll let you know how it is when I finish registering.

The summer, much like the shnecken, beckons. Though the weather isn't co-operating, a couple days from now I shall be done, thank the Lordy, and, for the last time, get to laugh at all you working shmucks! This is my last hurrah then, and I am going to do it up right this summer. If you ain't fun to be around, don't expect to see me. Tour stops for "Last Summer of Madness" include The Shore, AC, NYC, Ithaca, ACK, Rochester, C-bus and maybe DC (Sarah?) and the Hamptons (Amy?). Of course, I am looking to add tour dates, so if you have a venue that you want the Jaybus to stop off at, let me know. Of course, this all assumes no summer next year, which assumes a job, which isn't for certain. But hey, if my legal career doesn't work out (and if NFL football doesn't work out for the Giants #1 pick in this years draft), Me and Eli Manning have webdesign to fall back on.

I guess that's it for now. Maybe something deeper or funnier tomorrow.

Toodles.

2004-05-03T01:03:00.000-04:00

Jeebus, has it really been since Wednesday since I've posted? Wow.

Guess I had a final in there on Friday. It went okay, thanks for asking.

Good weekend gone dead. Marty came, left. Too bad everyone was being gay-a-y. I got a new car. It is yummy. Me gusta. Shoutouts to Matt and Jen K., good to talk to ya for once! Ethnic food is yummy, i've decided. We had Portuguese on Friday (including a Spanish beer called Estrella and a yummy pitcher of Sangria), German on Saturday (I heart spatzle), and Italian with Sopranos (GREAT EPISODE) on Sunday (mmmm salami and hot salsice!). Danish beers (Elephant, Tuborg) get props for their contributions to this weekend's fun. I am looking forward to a fun week of IMing, studying, looking at porn, and drinking. Speaking of which, THURSDAY NIGHT IS GOING TO BE RECOCKULOUS.

notice:Ladies, I fully plan on wearing my thong. Lines begin forming Tues. night, 8 pm.

Guess that's it, nothing intriguing to report I guess.

Sometimes, no news is good news. Toodles.

2004-04-28T12:55:00.000-04:00

I get wet without even trying! - Andrew W.K.

So as I was looking into the biggest H.S. lacrosse game of the year in New Jersey this morning, I happened upon a frontpage newspaper article that reminded me that there is good in this world (and that once in awhile, the asshats who run the media decide to pick it up). It kind of made me want to quit law school and open a deli...of course this would lead to me weighing 300 lbs. and I hate dieting. Dieters are insane, especially given that, contrary to popular belief, dieting isn't really necessary if we all just WALKED more instead of driving places. But anyone who knows me knows how much I hate walking, so its particularly funny that I advocate this position. You can trick yourself into walking, however, by becoming addicted to things like shopping (malls!) and golf, so maybe that makes up for it?

At the same time, I do love my car, even as I plan to get a new one this weekend (the lease is up on the Pathfinder). Leave me a comment suggesting a color. I am leaning towards silver, though black and gray are also a possibility. Though my life has kinda been like this lately, its amazing what the prospect of a new, yummy smelling car will do for one's outlook! Sure its superficial, but what is more fun than a new car?! Answer? Nothin!

Which brings us to the subject of naming cars. Do you name your car? My grandfather always names his cars, things like: The Folley Car, Jasonmobile, and Caboose (he has had 3 Cabooses...he keeps thinking its going to be his last car, but then he keeps on keepin' on) I had a friend in HS who named her car Cha-Cha and it was uber-annoying. I think Jen named the Pathfinder "Paddy," .... I am thinking of nicknaming the new car Rasputin, (and if you're wondering, 30 centimeters is 11.8110236 inches), because he was cool. Leave me comments suggesting other names.

Stern Country

For sleeplessness, your head face down, your shoulder blades
floating, and aspirin as a last resort, when
death is threatening, though lately I have experimented
with numbers and as for dreams I've never been boring
and only once did I bite the arm of a woman
sitting next to me and I should be careful
she might have a handwritten poem or a memoir
and I didn't bite her arm, and aren't we both
poets, though I warn her that I make gurgling
noises and twitch in both legs and make the bed
jump and I am exhausted from looking at poems
and I don't care about her nuts and bolts
and she has to go to the wilderness herself
and fuck the exercises, let her get smashed
by a Mack truck, then she'll be ready to mourn.

--Gerald Stern

2004-04-27T17:53:00.000-04:00

"Ambition makes me so horny" -Amil

So a cute female friend of mine and I got into a heated-IM debate over this today. If you've ever had an argument over IM before, you know it can be a dangerous thing. Without intonation and meter, people's words play in your head in ways they didn't intend them to when they typed them. So if your girlfriend says "That guy is real cute" on IM, you may hear it as "that guy is real cuuuuuuute!!!" where what she really meant was "oh yeah, that guy? yeah he's reaaaal cute. Eww" (with sarcasm). But I digress...

So we got to discussing that article and complaint, and I think its fair to say we disagreed. I think its a pretty gender-dividing issue. All the women-in-the-workplace-sexual-harassment talk reminded me of something Jack Nicholson said (in a recent edition of Esquire): "I don't know if this is a true statistic, but I heard somewhere that there are three times as many single women over 40 as single men. That's what we got from the women's movement. The chickens have come home to roost."

I think there is some value in Jack's statement. I don't think the women's movement or women in the workplace are a bad thing. In fact, I think as a society, we've certainly benefited from the movement. Some argue that it was the women's movement and an increased number of female lawyers that started the ADR ball rolling, and that mediation and the like are really just the result of a more feminine approach to disputes. This very well may be possible, and I think that it is one of many examples of the positive impact women can make in the business world (if you don't know, I decided to go to law school because I wanted to be a mediator).

That being said, I think Jack's statement rings true in that, despite the societal gains and increased individual autonomy resulting from the Women's Movement, I would argue that it has produced one glaring negative externality: loneliness. I guess if any swath of society increases their individuality as a whole, there has to be a loss of community in the process. In other words, to some degree, it must be a binary relationship. There are only so many hours in the day, and if more and more are used up by the exercises of individual autonomy (aka going to work), there will be less hours left to devote to community (aka family/couple time).

I guess to some degree we are in a state of flux then, and this is producing the negatives I am talking about. Society now allows, nay, encourages women to follow whatever career path they so desire, and this is termed progress. To some degree, there has been a corollary from a sexual standpoint, in that the aggressive, motivated female is a sexually exciting thing to many men, evidenced in the extreme by S&M and the Dominatrix. Perhaps the real problem, then, is simply that society hasn't responded on the other side of the coin. Men are still equally, if not more so, expected to be career driven. Sure there are cute movies about stay-at-home Dads, but they are comedies relying on a fish-out-of-water volta for their affect. In fact, they tend to perpetuate the absurdity of the softening of the male role rather than destroy the barriers. And there has been no corresponding sexuality shift. More than ever, men are expected to be macho, to be rich, to be muscled, to be strong. Biologically, women still like a broad shouldered guy with power and sway (read: An ambitious, ripped guy with a Benz, an important-or-at-least-good job and political clout).

Of course mine is not an unbiased position. I am the child of divorce, and my parent's failed marriage was, in my opinion, largely caused by some of the above tensions. My Mom's extremely successful career overtook my Dad's when I was about 11. Over time, (and in the context of both parents working) he became more of the classical stay at home type, and was the most likely candidate to babysit us, take us to sports practices, culture us (opera and hockey), etc... My mom and I still had a very close relationship, but it wasn't as classically mother-son. I always saw her more as my educator or mentor. In any event, my Mom soon grew annoyed with my Dad, I think subconsciously because he forked over so much of his masculinity to make the marriage work. She resented his spending habits (esp. once she was the primary breadwinner) on things like hockey season tickets and expensive ski vacations, without seeing the incredible importance of these things to the vitality of the family. I think today she sees them, but its too late. It is very difficult for me to watch my parents now, in their waning middle age, struggle with a cavernous loneliness perceivable in every phone call with both of them.

On top of all that, which I think I am at peace with, I now see myself as a 2-time victim of these tensions, as my recent relationship has fallen apart due to many of the same factors. Our break-up was one, I believe, which probably wouldn't have occurred 20 years ago, and certainly would not have occurred 40 years ago. Geographical hurdles proved too much to endure, and these were hurdles created primarily by career path choices. Who knows what will happen in the future, maybe some inventive solution can be worked out for me or people in my position. But, for me, its difficult not to let one's thoughts drift to how seemingly simpler things might have been just a few short decades ago.

If things were really better under the new system, then I wouldn't mind so much. But I think the modern, increasingly soul-less world is already an incredibly lonely place, and all I see is it getting lonelier.

Wow. That was a depressing post! I promise a more fun one tomorrow!!

2004-04-26T11:50:00.000-04:00

So the current item of debate is whether or not bagels are better toasted or untoasted. I am of the untoasted persuasion, though I am guessing the majority of peeps out there (esp. here in the Midwest) prefer their bagels toasted. All of this was spurred by the complete incompetence of the people at Timmy Ho's. I got home to find a toasted everything bagel with butter, despite not ordering such. Did I SAY toasted? Is the default on the menu toasted? Are bagels ALWAYS toasted? NONONO!!!!!!!

Some quick internet research leads me to believe that widespread toasting of bagels is likely a new phenomenon and in my opinion, then, not the mode in which bagels were meant to be eaten.

Bagels were invented in the 17th century according to most accounts, but the electric toaster was not invented until the turn of this century. In fact, according to a few websites (see previous link), electric toaster slots weren't widened for bagel toasting until the 1980s. While it is entirely possible that people toasted bagels over open fires prior to the invention of the electric toaster, this seems unlikely and is not part of the traditional preparation of bagels. Cream cheese itself wasn't invented until 1872, and in all likelihood, bagels were eaten as a type of roll (e.g. with butter at dinner, or as sandwich bread) by the Eastern Europeans who invented them (it was Eastern European Jews who immigrated to NYC and Chi-town that brought the bagel with them), and not solely as a breakfast bread.

So upon thorough review, it seems to me that no bagel purist would ever toast his bagel on a regular basis.

/should be studying.

2004-04-26T00:23:00.000-04:00

Well I've finally broken down and started a blog. I've heretofore been a sort of antiblog elitist (me an elitist?? Never). I always fancied myself a shoddy poet, and thought blogging would combust what little creative fuel was left in my tank after harrowing days of doing almost nothing in law school, and thus leaving me with no creative energy with which to poetificate. However, following in the footsteps of at least 3 of my friends from the C-bus, I thought MAW (that's "might as well," to the lay person), and here I am.

Sometimes bad things happen to good people, and that kind of sums up my semester. But I've been blessed with awesome friends, including The Crew back home, 705ers, UAR, the Mo'Ritz Crackahs, and beer, all of whom are helping me get through it. As I sit here drinking a bedtime Stroh's (did you know that the Pabst Co. brews PBR, Stroh's, Schlitz, Schaeffer, Old Style, Piels, Colt 45, McSorleys and Old Milwaukee???) and perusing Modern Drunkard and Fark (get to know it, and love it), I cannot help but be struck with how its little things that make life endurable; like cold beer (see above Stroh's comment), impromptu bar games (Fun Facts at Rose & Thistle), using cliches (see above re: 'little things'), Tim & Clark on Wednesday nights, and reaching a par 5 in two.

So while my brethren law students are sweating it out in the library worrying about C-Corps, admissibility of DNA tests, hostile LBO's, and where they are going to blow their Summer Associateship checks, I am going to be partaking of the small pleasures which make my current lot in life endurable. Right about now I should break out my world class rationalizations (fear not! I will!), but I want to pref those by saying that for all their rhetorical IM value when I am trying to get you to have a drink with me, I do really believe them.

Now onward, it seems clear to me that my cohorts are delusional. I have to believe that they've been misinformed by someone (most likely Disney) at some point (most likely childhood) about the validity of the American Dream. The AD, as we'll call it (which harkens BOTH [and not coincedentally] Athletic Directors [did you know my mom's maiden name was Geiger?] and ED [ask Pat]), has a toxifying, hallucinogenic affect on law students, and should be classified an opiate immediately. It is comforting to believe that the harder you work, the more you will be rewarded with good grades, and that these good grades will lead to more job offers, and that these job offers will eventually result in more money (the truly intoxicated misnome this "having more choices" to sound less superficial, I think) and that more money/choices eventually lead to personal freedom and, finally, happiness.

But if you write that out, you see that you are creating an oh-so-tenuous causal chain with far too many links. Too many things can go wrong in that equation, and my personal view is that happiness is not separated from one's actions by such a future-raping disconnect. Bad things happen to good people, and shit can go wrong somewhere between point (a) masochistic library tendencies and point (z) happiness. So if the Doctor called you up tomorrow and told you that you had Breast Cancer or Lou Gehrig's disease, thereby breaking your forereaching chain, would you want your happiness sinking off in the distant blue depths of the ocean like some sailor's anchor, and you, the first mate, left standing there, holding the flacid end of a section of rusty links? I think instead, I'll make myself happy each and every day, by surrounding myself with good friends and fun things, and by acting in a manner that lets me rest my head at night.

As a result of my beliefs, it may very well be that others get better jobs out of the starting gate. But I am pretty sure that I have read at various locations that things like "how attractive you are" and "your personal mental health/happiness" are much more highly correlated to professional success than 2L, second semester grades. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I believe that the AD is at best a hackneyed fairy talel and at worst an outright lie. People like to believe that those with purpose, those who persevere, are rewarded in life. But take an intro class in Holocaust Literature at any University worth its assuredly overpriced tuition, and one quickly discovers that concept to be false. Sometimes, even if you deserve to live, you don't; Sometimes, even if you deserve to do well, you don't. And then all that time and effort, which could have been focused on one's pursuit of happiness, winds up, retrospectively, wasted (no pun intended).

No Ladies and Gentlemen, sometimes, life, like our judicial system, is not just and equitable.

Which of course means (and this is the moral, people) that you should always mediate.

Oh, and uhh, drink beer.